Vacation, my foot!

"Revan, meet my apprentice, Dareq Wilum. Dareq, this is Revan, the woman the whole galaxy's raving about."

Revan regarded the gangly boy, with willowy limbs and a very shaky hand. He was older than Mission, but she had a feeling the Twi'lek wouldn't need more than a minute to floor the kid.

"H-honored to finally meet you, Jedi Revan." He couldn't decide if he was supposed to bow, so he executed that concurrently while shaking her hand. "I've heard remarkable stories about you."

"Yeah well, I bet some have been remarkably exaggerated," Revan sighed. "Don't believe everything you hear, especially not from a Sullustan called Tior Sevv, slimy little sewer rat..." Revan caught herself at the look both Master and Apprentice were giving her. "So Dareq... uh, which path are you planning to take?"

"The path of the Jedi Consular, like Master Bindo," he announced quite promptly. "I believe there is much that can be gained from listening to the Force, as Master Bindo points out."

"Alright, alright, off with you now." Jolee shooed the boy back towards the Temple. "I've got some matters to discuss with the Saviour of the Republic."

Revan rolled her eyes at the title the media had so tackily coined for her. If she had a credit for everytime she heard that...

"Well, what do you think?"

"About the kid?" Revan picked up a small, smooth stone, and pocketed it. "He seems... decent."

"What, you going soft on me lass?" Jolee demanded, clicking his tongue in disapproval. "You never were one to pull any punches! What did that damned pilot do to you?" 

Revan ignored the barbed comment. "He just seems, in awe of you, that's all."

"In awe, huh?" the wizened Jedi snorted. "The kid's practically clinging on to my robes. Master Bindo this, Master Bindo that. He'll quote me in every sentence, if he gets the chance."

"Admit it, old man. You like the attention."

"If I wanted attention like that I'd get a kinrath pup," Jolee harrumphed sourly, crossing his arms over the slight belly that had been forming ever since he'd vacated his root hovel for greener pastures with more food. 

"You're being a little harsh on the kid, don't you think?"

He threw his hands up, rubbed his scalp a bit, then shoved them back under his arms. "Ah don't get me wrong, I think Dareq's got the potential to be a good Jedi. I'm just saying that he has the personality of a tree." 

"Well some plant sentient species, such as the Neti from the planet Ryyk, have been known to have great charisma," Revan countered.

"Save me the lecture, lass." Jolee settled into a bench with a great moan only the elderly are capable of; to Revan it sounded like a Wookiee's upset stomach. "I'm the Jedi Master here."

"You're just grumpy because a Padawan mistook you for Master Vrook," she accosted.

Jolee slapped his thigh, indignance bright on his face. "Bah! I'm grumpy because I'm bored, damn it! All that time away from the Council, I forgot how dull and stuffy it could get. Once I get clearance from those coots, I'm going to ship us offworld and show that kid what a real universe is like."

Revan laughed brutally at the image he'd conjured up in her mind. Rather than Jolee showing the kid the ropes, he'll look more like a spacescout helping a cranky old man across the galaxy. "Poor kid won't stand a chance with you... Next thing he'll know his senile Master will be encouraging him to try glitterstim to better understand the inner workings of Coruscant's drug cartels."

"There you go again with that insolent mouth of yours!" He wagged a finger at her, and didn't stop wagging it till Revan worried he might be under medication or something. "Some things never change."

She wasn't sure if he meant it as an insult, or the fact relieved him; she could never tell with these cryptic windbags. They sat in not so much as companionable silence as having run out of dialogue material in the Temple courtyard, watching the myriad of Jedi milling in and out of the compound with the slightest buzz and hum from the skylanes raining down from above. 

"So what have you been up to? Other than going at it with that pilot of yours..."

Revan had no idea what angle he was trying to irk her from. After all, he's the one that said he was happy to see them together, and now she's getting flak from the lippy old coot. "You know, you're slowly but surely sinking down to Canderous' level if you keep that up."

"I was just pulling your leg, was all. Like I said, I'm glad you two love birds found each other... It was so sweet back on the beach that my diabetes started acting up again." 

"Okay, that's it!" Revan fumed, rounding on him. "You have one last chance to turn this conversation around, or I'm leaving, lippy!"

"Calm down, lass! Don't get you knickers in a twist..." Jolee ran a hand through his non-existant hair. "Uh, nice cloud formations we're having lately..."

"Next topic," she ordered, the syllables barely making it past her clenched teeth. 

"Hmph...picky, picky, picky... Oh! Word around the Temple says that the media darling is causing some grief. Care to explain your side of the story?"

Revan rubbed her temples, feeling a familiar throb creep up behind her right eye. "You'd think that when the first wave of reporters fell down unconscious, the rest of them would turn on their tails and flee. But no, they used the ones who were knocked out as leverage to get a better shot."

"And what were they interrupting that caused you to, may i quote," Jolee cleared his throat and tried to emulate the voice of the holonews presenter. "'...Conjure a ferocious whirlwind which devastated the area, and injured five of the reporters, one of whom, a Sullustan called Tior Sevv, currently remains in critical condition'."

"I was taking a soak at the bathhouse!" Revan protested, feeling the all too familiar need to defend herself. "Honestly if that doesn't count for sexual harassment, I give up. And don't give me the 'Jedi anti-violence' lecture. I've had more than a earful from Vrook and the rest of the gang." 

"There you go, jumping to conclusions! Didn't I teach you not to do that?" There it was again- the wagging finger that won't stop. "I was just going to ask you what in Force's name you did to the Sullustan that caused him to break a quarter of the bones in his body!"

"HK already did most of the work when he tried to sneak in the back. After that, I acted as any shocked, naked lady would, had she been gifted in the Force as well. The rest was just the schutta's luck when that first wave I mentioned toppled on top of him." Revan shook her head, and the slight breeze blew back the strands that fell over her face. "I'd rather get chased down by the Sith than these perverts."

"Be careful what you wish for lass," Jolee warned. "Don't want to be stirring up that pot."

"Why the hell not?" Revan pulled herself sharply off the bench, and began pacing rapidly back and forth, her arms gesturing wildly about her. "When we were flying around on the Hawk, I felt like I had some purpose. Everyone said they couldn't wait for it to be over, and for what? To get back to reality? Reality's making sure your robes are always clean and neatly pressed, or going nuts deciding what to eat because you're not living on protein packs and nutrition bars any more!"

"All adventures have to come to an end sometime," Jolee said quietly, leaning forward on his knees. "You just haven't found the happy ending you were expecting."

"The galaxy's safe and I ended up with the Republic heartthrob. What other happy ending is there?"

"You tell me! You're the one who's complaining about it!"

"Fine!" Revan cried. "I want a vacation to Zeltron, just me, Carth and whatever erotic entertainment those pink people can offer!"

"It's a good thing I'm going deaf because I'm pretty sure you just said something I DIDN'T NEED TO HEAR!" Jolee huffed loudly, noticing that the woman didn't even have the decency to blush. "You're worse than gizka, you know that?"

Revan was about to bark something in return, but her lips pursed and she turned towards the northeast, making a sound at the back of her throat which Jolee could only identify as a growl. "Son of a Hutt, these guys never leave me alone!" 

Revan threw the stone she'd picked up, and at the sound of an 'ow!', she Force pushed a human male out of the bushes, and held him suspended above ground before he fell back down. "Look, ten feet in the air and the Sithspawn's still snapping pictures. I'm not a national monument, you schutta!" 

"Revan, please. If I may..." Jolee offered. There was no need for a repeat of the incident with the Sullustan, and she was certainly in no state to deal with the man. Slowly he set the trembling male back on his feet, forming an effective barrier between a seething Revan ready to pounce and her target. 

Jolee brought a hand up and passed it over the man's wincing face. "You will stop being an annoyance to society. You will delete any and all pictures of Revan. You will quit your unscrupulous job and rethink your choice of career. Perhaps as a reputable author..." He put some thought into the matter. "Or a tap dancer."

The man started muttering out whatever Jolee had said, his glazed eyes gaining clarity as Jolee eased up on the influence. "Wha...what am I doin' here?"

"I believe you have an audition to get to," Jolee answered, giving him a congenial smile.

"Right, right... Aw geez, felt like somethin' pounded me on the head... Damn fallin' branches..."

"Make it so they all go away," Revan begged.

"Take it easy, lass. It's only the first month..." The old Jedi patted her arm sympathetically. "They'll get tired of you soon enough." 

His heart went out to the morose lass that stood frowning at her boots like they'd committed a grievous crime against her feet. "Look, Revan, since your vacation's not working out, why don't you help out at the Temple. We could use someone to teach the kids a thing or two about lightsaber techniques."

"When you say 'kids', do you mean 'I'm a crotchety old man and I call anyone without a wrinkled forehead kid' kid, or actual kids here?"

"Actual kids. But if you ask me, some of the older ones could learn a thing or two about more imaginative forms of combat."

Revan eyed the Jedi Master critically. "Hnh. I hope you're not referring to the time I forgot to lock the blade before throwing my lightsaber."

"Yet it still was an effective weapon when it knocked the unsuspecting Sith out cold." Did he just see a smile there? "Well, what do you think?"

"I'm sure word of my philandering with a certain pilot has spread around the Temple like wildfire," Revan mumbled, rubbing the back of her neck. "I'm going to go out on a limb here... but I don't think they'll want me influencing their children, let alone anywhere near them..."

"Nonsense!" Jolee waved the notion away. "Those stuck-up monkey-lizards are better off keeping their damned noses pointed on where they're going instead of up in the air. Fact remains that you're a great swordsman, and you've got the Sith scalps to prove it." 

"I'll...I'll sleep on it."

"You do that." He looked at his chrono, and got off the bench the same way he'd gotten on it. "How time flies when you're having fun. I'd better be getting back to the Temple, lest they send a search party after me." Jolee stepped up to hug the woman he'd come to regard dearly, though he'd rather sit on a blaster than admit it to her. Force knows what that would do to her pompous head. "It's always nice to see you, lass. Give my regards to the pilot." 

"Thanks Bindo."

"Just so you know, first class starts at 0900 hours tomorrow," he called, without even bothering to turn around.

"I said I'll sleep on it."

"And I'm telling you I'll see you at 0900 hours!"

"Hey, I thought we agreed no Force powers in bed!" She felt his chest rumble against her cheek. "Revan, why can't I move?"

"I have something to tell you. Knowing you, you won't keep your hands to yourself long enough to listen."

"I will!" Carth protested indignantly. Revan pondered for a moment, satisfied that she'd gotten his attention, and pulled the Force stasis off of him.

"Carth," she began, propping her head up on an arm. "I took up a new job at the Temple."

"That's great," he grinned, in his own way that made her wonder why they were still talking, and not... you know. "So what are they making you do? Paper-pushing? Laundry? Waste diposal?"

That jibe killed off any fantasy she'd been entertaining. "No," she said, throwing a pillow at him. It landed with him uttering an 'oof'. "I'm going to teach a bunch of nose-pickers how to handle a lightsaber." 

"Yea?" Her eyes dared him to make another joke at her expense. "Sounds like fun." 

"Not as fun as waste disposal," she threw back. "Really, flyboy."

Carth slid a hand over her waist, and Revan contemplated sidling up a bit. "Not that I don't think it's wonderful you're taking up some responsibilities, beautiful, but I was under the impression that you liked being a kept woman."

Revan snorted lightly into his arm. "I decided to contribute towards the greater good of the galaxy, not just that of a certain ex-pilot."

They lay in quiet bliss for a moment, and Revan knew his mind had drifted off to space, literally. Being an Admiral had more to do with paper work and diplomacy and shiny suits, than any actual battleship to command. She knew he missed flying, more specifically that pilot's seat on the Ebon Hawk. 

"You know this ship is open for test runs anytime, right?" she teased, running her nose up and down the jawline that drove her crazy.

Carth angled his head toward her and their lips brushed. "How am I supposed to concentrate at work with that image in my mind, hmmm?"

Revan smirked. "You're the Admiral. You figure it out."

The man couldn't be a year or two older than Carth, and he certainly was way too young to be a Council member by her standards. She watched guardedly as Jolee escorted the stately man over. First impression: Jedi poster boy sometime in his youth.

Jolee cleared his throat and for some reason, Revan felt complied to straighten her back. "Lass, I'd like you to meet Jedi Master Kavar."

"Jedi Revan, I've waited a long time to finally meet you." He bowed graciously at her, and Revan attempted to do the same. 

"Please," She flapped a hand. "Just 'Revan' is fine. I'm supposedly still on vacation from the Order, and I get queasy around typecasting."

He nodded with that knowing smile all Jedi seemed to carry in their robe pockets. Except her. "I understand."

The three of them started moving through the Temple at what Revan could only describe as a Jedi's pace- even, controlled and utterly frustrating. The first few times Bastila had forced her to practice it back on Dantooine she'd tripped repeatedly over her boots. Revan realized the key was to concentrate on other things, to keep her mind off her fumbling feet, like the smell of dinner wafting from the mess hall, or the fluttering of the hairy insect larva that looked like it was was trying to rip off Jolee's upper lip, or the blond forty-ish year old man beside her... 

"Is there something on my face?" Kavar asked, genuinely concerned, bringing a hand up to his chin. In that moment, the whole glassy image she'd conjured up for him shattered, and she wasn't quite sure that was a bad thing.

"I'm sorry, I'm just having a hard time believing you're a member of the Council," she admitted. "You're in grave violation of the wrinkle quota."

"Revan, play nice," Jolee growled, but the young Jedi Master just laughed heartily at the jibe.

"No, it's alright," he assured. "I'll take that as a compliment."

She watched amusedly as he nodded politely at a group of female Knights, which she had the feeling weren't gathered in that exact spot at the exact time by chance. "So Revan, how has sedentary life been for you so far?"

A slight scowl crossed her face. "I think you can see, hear and read about how being stuck on the ground has been for me."

"Ah yes. The media can be a rather harrowing bunch to navigate around."

Revan snorted lightly. "I gave up navigating two weeks ago. Now I'm just ploughing my way through." 

"So the headlines have mentioned," he chuckled. "Between you and me, that shock of red hair of yours attracts too much attention too easily. I suggest investing in a wig."

"A wig? Ha!" The idea was odd, but not entirely without merit. Carth would no doubt find it entertaining. "I'll keep that in mind."

"At any rate, the vultures will move on once a new sensation surfaces, you can be sure of that."

The woman sighed heavily through her nose. "Not soon enough. I can't so much as scratch my-" Jolee shot her a warning glare. "-Bum without them having their equipment there to document it. By the end of the week, everyone up to the outer rim will know my robe size, or what brand of soap I use to do my laundry."

Kavar laughed again, and she couldn't tell if he was being polite, or if he honestly found her a hoot, or if he was one of those terminally happy people. "Well, you can't blame their enthusiasm. The news scene has been rather parched over the past few months, and before you came along, the biggest scandal on Coruscant was an incident when a senator's nexu cub being stuck in a tree was discovered to be a plot by one of his rivals."

"So not only did I save the galaxy, but I also managed to salvage tabloid companies from the brink of bankruptcy." Revan blew a strand of hair out of her face. "Perfect."

"Service is the life of a Jedi," Kavar quipped in mock-solemnity. 

"Spoken like a true Master." She was beginning to like this guy. "Forgive me if I'm being too forward, but I have a Mandalorian companion who's sort of a fan of you, in a manner of speaking. He mentioned your name once, anyway, and he usually doesn't talk about Jedi unless they did something to impress him. Would you mind autographing a photo? It'll drive him up the wall."

"Ah, there's that infamous wit everyone's been talking about." He hadn't actually thought she was being entirely serious, which she was. 

"Wit? Ha! That's a refreshing perspective." Revan leveled Jolee with a look. "Son, I think the word you're looking for is impudent, as the lass will shortly demonstrate."

Revan held her tongue, refusing to be baited by the cantankerous Jedi. It took a few moments for the sting to slide down her throat, but as soon as it did she celebrated her triumph with a smug yet serene smile. 

"Well I'll be a tach's uncle! She's minding her manners today." Her eyes blew wide and the smile became more snarl than smirk.

"Master Kavar!"

"Speaking of tachs and their kin..." Jolee muttered under his breath, and Revan caught Kavar grinning through the side of his mouth.

"Master Vrook! It's been too long!"

"I see that you have already met Jedi Revan and Master Bindo."

Even when she was just standing there Vrook spoke her name like Revan could somehow make part of the Temple explode at will. 

"Jedi Revan, I believe your class is about to start soon," he instructed.

"Class?" Kavar turned on her, slightly surprised. "I thought you were supposed to be on vacation?"

"Precisely. Key term: 'Supposed to'," she pointed out wryly. "I agreed to teach the nose-pickers-" Vrook shot her a stern glower, another look she seemed to be missing out on. "I mean Padawans some basic martial training and lightsaber combat."

"Which you'll be late for if you don't hurry along, knowing your sense of direction!" Jolee chided, urging the Jedi away. She bid a hasty goodbye before taking off at varactyl-worthy speed down the halls, hurtling over a balustrade or two, Jedi's pace be damned. Anticipation bubbled in her chest at the prospect of meeting her students, which she initially confused with heartburn. Rounding up on the final corner, she underestimated her momentum and ran herself into a pillar in an effort to dodge a trio of chatting Jedi. All three of them- the Rodian, the Zabrak, and some scaled species she couldn't identify- wore the same 'what the Force were you thinking' look as they helped her up, despite their vastly different facial structures. Her memory banked it immediately. 

She had to start building up her arsenal of Jedi expressions if she was going to be an instructor. She couldn't afford a commotion to break out by sending confusing signals when she twitched an eye wrong. Revan glanced at the chrono... Boma butt!! She was late, and not surprisingly, lost. Not a good impression to make on her first day, but then again, kids were usually oblivious to these things so that more or less evened things out. The training room revealed itself eventually, and Revan rallied herself with a staggering breath. Putting on the serene yet knowing smile of the Jedi, Revan waved the doors open and greeted her students... that weren't damned kids at all.

The group staring dubiously back at her were teenagers! Hormone-ridden, unstable, petulant teenagers! Revan blurted out a curse before she could help herself, and more than a few eyebrows rose while the others sniggered in the background. A couple of Bastila prospects actually glared disdainfully at her. 

Son of a Sith harlot!! 

Son of a Sith harlot son of a Sith harlot son of a Sith harlot son of a Sith harlot son of a Sith harlot son of a Sith harlot son of a Sith harlot...