Patterns of Betrayal and Redemption (III) -- Chapter 12

Chapter 12

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 A/N:

...+ This chapter wasn't sent to Trillian for a beta, so no doubt it's rough. But it's been sitting on my desk for a while now, so time to get it out.

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Toxel (on the way to Nar Shaddaa)

"Wake up, Toxel!" Yuthura loud call shatters the shell of my mother's memories. "We'll be arriving soon."

I almost snarl something rude back, catching myself just in time. Something was touching my mind, very gently, perhaps another memory. I know Yuthura's call is urgent, but it's so hard to give up this up. No item gives the same memory twice.

"What can we expect?" I ask, tucking away the lightsabres, as I enter the cockpit. My voice is only slightly sharp.

"You found something, I'm guessing?" Yuthura eyes the lightsabres in my belt when I crinkle my eyes. "You were lost in that form for a long time."

"Yeah."

Yuthura waits for a moment, then smirks. "You can tell me about it later. Right now, I need you to man the guns. It's going to be busy when we appear."

"How long?"

"Thirty minutes still, but you need to get familiar with the weapon systems." She turns her gaze back to the flight panel, plotting a new course for hyperspace in the jump computer's standby slot. "This is our next destination, but we're going to need some clear space before we can jump. Until then, you've got to keep the bad boys away."

"Okay." The panels of the main weapons controls gleam, unlike the secondary ones places near the pilot's seat. The Bent Lekku has a surprising number of weapons for such a small ship. Two missile tubes, four semi-automated point defence guns, and three main beam weapons-two forward and one on the right. After checking that the weapon safeties are still on, I practice using the controls. The set up is intuitive to me, and I quickly realize that it was designed for a Force user. It doesn't take long before I'm comfortable with them.

"Nice set up. I'm ready," I tell her.

"Good, because we're about to exit."

I turn off the weapon safeties, then take a deep breath, reaching out to the Force. The connection comes quick, and its deep and strong, surprisingly so. A sense of wonder starts to fill me, but then the streaking lights becomes points, and we emerge into a hail of turbolaser fire, streaking ships, and fiery explosions.

There are so many ships, it's hard to tell them apart. We've arrived in the midst of a full scale fighter engagement, like those of my mother's memories from the Mandalorian invasion.

"Who do I shoot at?" I yell at Yuthura.

"Trust the Force," she snarls back, yanking the ship sharply to the right, barely avoiding an exploding small freighter.

Behind, I feel a ship turn its attention towards us. Yuthura must sense it too, because she turns sharply right, bring the right facing gun to bear on our pursuer. I shoot instinctively, and flares of light burst ineffectively across the shields of what looks like a Czerka escort ship.

The ship shoots at us in turn, but Yuthura is already turning downwards and the beams miss us. I flick a finger, and a missile launches itself at the Czerka ship. It explodes just metres from our pursuer's hull, the shrapnel overloading its shield projectors. A few shots later from our guns and it splits in two.

"Three more on our left, Toxel," Yuthura shouts as she flips The Bent Lekku upside down so that the right gun comes to bear on the quickly approaching ships.

"How long before we can jump out of this?" I say, shooting at the closest one. It doesn't have the shields that the Czerka one had, and breaks apart as the turbolasers hit.

"Course is plugged in, but we need to get clear of this frackin' mess first."

That's not going to be easy. The two remaining ships following us are better equipped and their pilots are good. Shot after shot from them is deflected by our shields or barely misses because of Yuthura's dodging. My shots are accurate, but not enough to penetrate the shields of our larger pursuers, and there are too many ships battling around us for me to target the missiles.

A flurry of turbolasers hits one of our pursuers, a series of direct hits that overwhelms its shields. Four more ships, small freighters retrofitted with newer weaponry join our frantic, jerky chase, their target our pursuers. Another pursuer explodes and I'm starting to feel hopeful. The edge of the fight seems only moments away, but then Yuthura swerves sharply left, snarling "Frackin' slave-to-all-Republic." Turbolaser fire barely misses us as our pursuer and four helpers explode simultaneously into fragments.

Yuthura turns our ship back into the thick of the melee, putting the swarming ships between us and our new enemy, the Republic light cruiser that jumped in on top of us.

"Incoming missiles," Yuthura yells.

A swarm of missiles bear in on us from the Republic ship. Most of them explode into other ships, friends and allies both, but three make it through and hurtle towards us. They are almost too fast for my Force-inspired reactions and the point defence fire. "Got ‘em."

"The Bent Lekku," a voice calls into the comm, "Gizka-A99, vector 8876-998 and fast!"

Yuthura's next turn almost unseats me. "Who's that?" I yell, launching two missiles as we enter a small area of clear space. Another, new pursuer explodes.

"Frack if I know!"

Something's happening, because almost half the ships seem to explode outwards from the milling centre, some of them bursting into flame as they smash into other ships in their way. The remaining ships seem to hesitate, then pursue, a second's delay only, but a moment too long. A thick sheet of turbolaser fire rains from the right onto them, as the dark gleaming mass of a Mandalorian destroyer shimmers out of nothingness.

Unlike the Republic light cruiser, the smaller Mandalorian destroyer sails straight into the milling small freighters of the enemy. Many perish against her hulls, their quiet deaths revealed only by small, and unexpectedly beautiful sparks that glimmer and then quickly fade. The others flee, many dying more mundanely under the continued barrage of turbolaser fire.

The Republic light cruiser had largely held off firing, but whatever the reasons were for its restraint before, it now it engages its new enemy wholeheartedly. The shields of the Mandalorian destroyer flare as the cruiser's fire slams into it. The Mandalorian returns fire, manoeuvring briskly, trying to use its greater quickness to get out of the cruiser's firing arc while the few remaining smaller ships of our enemy fleeing into the night

"Stop gawking like a newbie in a Twi'lek strip bar and get out of here," a strangely, familiar voice shouts from the comm. Yuthura grunts in frustration, and then we dive into hyperspace.

The ship is strangely silent after the intense action. I can't stop looking for other pursuers, though I know I would never see them in hyperspace. Finally, I take a few breaths and get up from my chair. Yuthura is still in the pilot's chair, but she's leaning back, slowly stroking the base of her left lekku.

"That was close," she says quietly.

"Who was that last person on the comm?" I ask. "The one who told us to get out of the way?" Yuthura only shrugs. "Then why did you trust him?"

"He used an emergency Exchange code. One that I trusted without question."

"Trusted?"

"Our enemy will have no doubt intercepted and analyzed it by now."

"And how about the ships helping us? Were they Exchange as well?"

"I only recognized a few of them," the Sith says, her eye ridges furrowing. "They were a motley crew."

"True, but they were prepared. I sensed some very new hardware on some of them. I guess this also means that the Mandalorian destroyer doesn't belong to the Exchange?"

"Toxel, I didn't even know Mandalorian ships still existed. I thought Revan got rid of them all."

"As far as I knew, he did..." And then I remember. Revan did let one Mandalorian destroyer go. "Oh cannock shit."

"What?" says Yuthura, turning around to look me in the eye.

"It can't be..."

"Tell me what you're thinking, Toxel." Yuthura's voice is surprisingly gentle.

It can't be the Tulden. How would that be possible? Why would Toxel's ship get involved?

"Toxel," Yuthura says again.

I take a deep breath. "I think it could be the Tulden. It was the ship... of my father, Toxel of the Clan Tulden, Champion of the Mandalorian."

Yuthura touches me on the shoulder. "Could he still be on it? We can't go back, you know."

"I know, and the answer is ‘no,' he can't be on the ship. My father died before I was born. Kreia..." I pause. Yuthura, as a Sith must know about my mother's former mentor.

"Kreia," Yuthura sighs. "A dark name with a dark history. How was she involved?"

"She tried to take information out of my father's mind, and he killed himself before she could finish the deed. Then, she sought out my mother and tried to teach her about the Force. And while she was doing that, Kreia also tried to learn about, maybe even take, my mother's... abilities."

Yuthura looks at me, then shakes her head. "The events of the galaxy seem to be centring themselves around your mother and you, Toxel."

"It just doesn't seem real," I sigh. "I guess I'm used to seeing this happening to other people."

"Like Revan?"

"And Bastila. How can anyone worry about me and my doings with them around?"

"Your mother, well... no one really knows that much about her except that she was Revan's former lover who lost her power at Malachor. After that, nothing much save a few rumours of her doings ten years later and that didn't last more than a year."

"My mother's been dead for almost fifteen years. Why does anyone care now?"

"Well, clearly people know that you're looking for her now," she says. "Think about it from the perspective of a Sith who's gaining power using secrecy and manipulation. Such people don't like mysteries and powers they can't figure into their plans. Your mother was very much of an unknown. She was always in the background, and yet she took down some of the most dangerous Sith around, without an army to back her up and without Revan's mastery and strength in the Force." Yuthura pauses. "Revan and Bastila are strong, but everyone knows what they can do. Your mother... and you... are a different story."

I know what she's saying makes sense, but I don't want to understand. The only response that pops into my mind is: "It isn't fair."

"You're right, Toxel," Yuthura says. I blush, realizing that I spoke my self-pitying words aloud. Yuthura hesitates, then touches my shoulder awkwardly. "It isn't fair, but then life almost never is. Especially for those with great power."

"Great power..."

"Yes, Toxel. You are a Jedi, with enviable training and a mysterious heritage. Whether you desire it or not, those seeking power will be threatened by you even if you never seek to change their world. With great power comes a lot of things. Jealousy, desire, fear and responsibilities..." Yuthura sighs. "But that list does not include peace and happiness, I believe."

"I need to think through this."

Yuthura nods and I walk to my room, lying down on the small cot within. But it is sleep, not new insights, that finds me there.

I feel a presence touch my dreams almost immediately. It is strange, for though I'm aware both that I'm sleeping and the gentle ransacking of my memories, I feel no need to wake up or to resist. Instead, I find myself dreaming of Re'cha, the planet where I had lived with my mother before Bastila's impetuous kidnapping.

-=-=-=--=-=-=--=-=-=--=-=-=--=-=-=--=-=-=--=-=-=--=-=-=--=-=-=--=-=-=-

"Have a nice sleep?" Yuthura asks, smiling over her shoulder when I walk in. I feel fresh, after a quick wash in the fresher and with a relatively fresh set of clothes. My Sith companion also looks more awake as she lounges in the pilot's chair, her feet up on the panel in front of her. This time, she's wearing a black shirt and long skirt that hang lightly on her frame. Jenti, the gizka, lies asleep on her legs.

"Yes, thank you." I start a set of light stretches. "I forgot to ask last time. How long will it take us to reach our next destination?"

"Well, the emergency route calls for a number of quick jumps designed to throw off pursuit. The first one will be in three hours. I'm pretty sure we're not being followed, but you should be prepared just in case."

"Okay."

Yuthura turns back to front, stroking Jenti as she stares at the streaking stars. After a few minutes of stretching, I realize how little I have eaten in the last few days. "Have you eaten, Yuthura?"

"Nibbled."

"I'll make us something."

Most of the food in the ship's larder is pre-cooked, but that will not satisfy me now. As I rummage through the ingredients remaining, a feeling of soft, familiar longing fills me as I realize what I can make fresh. For the first time in ages, I find myself making Re'cha ledli.

Yuthura places Jenti gently on top of a nearby panel when I return with the steaming meals. "Some kind of bun?" Yuthura guesses when I hand her the plate full of the brown, bite-sized balls.

"It's ledli, a dish from Re'cha. Re'cha's near the Mandalorian side of the Republic," I continue when Yuthura furrows her eyebrows. "I gave you a few extra ledli for Jenti. Gizka seem to like them."

"Gizka like everything," Yuthura smiles, handing one to Gizka before trying one herself. "These are good."

For a while, the cockpit is silent as we both eat, the sounds of the ship's engines and instruments too familiar to be heard.

"Re'cha is where your mother was exiled, then?" Yuthura asks finally, putting her plate next to Jenti. The gizka wakes up quickly, and begins devouring the remaining pieces with relish.

"Yeah. When I had first started learning how to cook, the first dishes I had mastered were Re'chian. I guess I was looking for something that would help me remember my mother. However, after tasting thirty or so dishes, Re'chian ledli were the only dish that seemed familiar."

Yuthura nods her head. She pauses a moment, then pulls out a sleek, black cane with a shiny, ornate handle. "This belonged to Gizka, my lover. Not this one," she smiles.

"It's beautiful."

"A lot more than he was. I guess all that stuff about ‘I'll always being in your heart' just isn't enough. I know I need a tangible reminder."

"I could..."

"No," Yuthura says sharply, then sighs. "Thank you, but I know all I need to about Gizka."

"I understand."

"I doubt you do," Yuthura smirks. "But I believe you will one day. Thanks for the ledli."

I take the plate she offers, and wash it along with mine. Then I return to my room and turn on my datapad to edit what I've written.

-=--=---=--=-=--=---=--=-=--=---=--=-=--=---=--=-=--=---=--=-=--=---=--=-

Toxel, Several hours later, deep in space

I'm manning the guns when we come out of our first jump, but I might as well be sleeping. Just as the stars turn from streaks to points of distant life, our ship shudders as alarms beep on Yuthura's control panel.

"Frack," Yuthura grunts, slamming the thrusters to full. At first, we don't move. Then, slowly, as if we are flying through mud instead of empty space, we turn upwards until a large, familiar ship fills our screen. And then we move towards it, despite the roar of the engines at the back of our ship.

"It's the Tulden," I say as Yuthura turns off the thrusters.

"Can you target the tractor beam," she asks as we both scan the ship.

"They don't think so," I say. They're letting us study them, not bothering to block our scanners. It's a beautiful ship, black and sleek, no wasted space, bristling with deadly weapons, fake vulnerable spots, multiple layers of armour, and redundant shield generators.

Neither of us bother trying to contact the ship. They'll contact us when they're ready. Still, it's a hard thing to be pulled helplessly towards an unknown force, in silence, not knowing what fate awaits us.

Our ship shudders as the ship is secured within the well-protected small bay of the destroyer. The docking arm extends section by section towards us silently, its opaque walls masking our view of the people who wait at its far end. Silently, Yuthura and I walk towards The Bent Lekku's exit. The light goes off, telling us that the connection has been made. Yuthura nods when I look at her, then opens the door.

"Hey kid," the man in the centre says. He's average height, trim, dressed in closely fitted brown pants and shirt that shows he's still in fine shape. The man's hair is full, greying in an attractive way. His brown eyes sparkle, but there is a twitchiness to them as well, and it's that more than anything that tells me who he is.

"Atton?"

"Yes, Toxel?" he responds, his grin wide, challenging.

"How do..." I start, then stop when a small, voluptuous woman sways out from behind Atton. She's dressed in a long, clinging, purple dress, made form one of those soft, textures materials that look nice to touch.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Champion of the Feynar," she says, smiling lightly.

"Uh, excuse me?" It's been fifteen years, and yet Visas looks the same as before. Or perhaps more of what she was before; it's hard not to be drawn to her curves and the glistening light of her full lips.

"Don't mind her," Atton says, clapping me on my shoulder, before turning his smile to Yuthura. "Who's your lady friend?" His smile brightens when she scowls.

"Yuthura Ban, and don't bother with that smile. I've seen dozens of younger and better versions of it."

Atton bows, his smile unfazed. "Follow me and I'll explain on the way."

"Umm... we have one more," I say.

"I'll take care of Atris," Visas says, sliding around me. My body tries to lean towards her as she passes, pulled against my will.

"You'll get used to it," Atton says quietly in my ear. I blush. I hadn't realized I had been following her walk.

Yuthura scowls. "Men."

"Love women," Atton smiles. "C'mon."

The halls feel empty as we make our way into the ship, and then upwards into the middle. Occasionally, we pass a group of Mandalorian walking the halls in small groups, or manning the various key stations around the ship. And yet, the ship is spotless, the walls and floor polished to a shine. I soon realize why; little cleaning robots constantly whir by us, some on the ground and some floating in the air. They are more of them than I've ever seen on a ship before.

"We're awash in robots," Atton says. "Bao-Dur programmed some of them to self-replicate near the end of their useful years, but there was a slight flaw in his program."

"How many of you are there?" I remember Revan's memory, of the dead bodies carried by The Ebon Hawk away from Malachor V.

"On the ship-"

"I mean from the group that traveled with my mother," I interject hastily.

Atton stops and looks me in the eye. "Visas got it right, you really do know about us, don't you kid?"

"A little. But how do you know about me?"

"Ah, now that's a longer story, and one that should be told over a good cup of kaffa or..." he studies Yuthura for a moment, "perhaps a few glasses of Dantooine Flash Fire."

"Kaffa," Yuthura says, her face expressionless.

Atton smiles, unfazed. It's funny. He's the same as the man before, and yet not. His flirting, nonchalance, they are a comfortable habit now, no longer a mask driven by unmet needs within.

The kaffa in the small canteen is surprisingly good, as are the strips of dried meat Atton suggests. We work our way slowly through them as the ship accelerates, then enters hyperspace.

"So here's the short story," Atton says when we're done, running his hand through his salt and pepper hair. "Visas had this nice plan where we'd get you out of Revan's hands and out in the world, gaining experience, power, and all those other things that make you the hero of the tale. So we set out these little items on all the planets that we visited, which she insisted you would be able to make use of. And apparently you did, because you seemed to be following the trail that she set out. But plans are nice things to make and a malraas in heat to stick to. So now, given that the bad guys know about you and are closing in, we decided that it's time to speed things along. Which means that Dxun's nextand then we need to get your mother on Malachor V."

"Oh..." My mind is empty and full at the same time. "Why can't we just skip Dxun and go Malachor V?"

"Yeah... the Force's like a Twi'lek in... ," he pauses, smiles, lopsided, bright teeth and shadowed eyes. "Sorry," he says to her, "I'm worse than usual. Comes with hanging out with Mandalorians for fifteen years."

"You were saying," she prompts.

Atton looks at her, seeing I think more than her bland face wants to reveal. "Yeah... so basically Visas says that young Toxel here needs to follow the same path his mother took. You've pretty well done that already, except for Dxun, which isn't going to be frackin' easy considering there are more starships circling the planet than long haul pilots around the last two-cred... umm, ale."

"Why do I have to follow the same path as my mother," I ask as Atton and Yuthura stare at each other, one smiling without and the other within.

"Visas said something about re-awakening patterns and all that so that we can get Xi Lan."

"So my mother's alive?"

Atton's smile slips, turning into a look of sympathy that surprisingly fits well on this older version of the rake. "Frack kid, I don't know. I've tried asking her high priestess, but she just says stuff like ‘she is dead in the eyes of the Force but nothing of Alkeh can ever transition.'"

"Alkeh..." I remember it, how Visas encountered it, and then sought it in my mother. "Something that has never and always existed, that was there before time and will exist when the Force is no more. It is neither dark nor light. Pilots sense when they are in space too long and when slaves no longer believe in freedom or themselves, they yearn for it, a place where they can not be."

I come out of Visas' memories to find Atton and Yuthura staring at me. In both their eyes, I see the haunting flicker of something.

"Frack kid," Atton says, shaking his head. "You've got some serious Jedi speak wandering around in there."

"That is not of the Jedi," Yuthura says quietly, her eyes looking at me but not seeing me, "and you know it, Jedi."

"That's the problem these days," Atton mumbles, ducking his head as his hand pulls his hair back, "can't even wallow in self-delusion anymore."

A moment of silence passes, two or three more follow, before Atton takes a deep breath. "Now I understand this Champion bit a little more," he says.

"You called Toxel a Champion of something before," Yuthura prompts.

"He called me Champion of the Feynar," I say, "and it has something to do with the Mandalorians as well as my mother."

Atton turns to face us again, pasting a half-hearted smile just enough to dispel the touch of Alkeh within. "I was hoping you would know something about it, kid. I guess you do, but I'm not sure I like what I'm finding." His smile crooks up on the left corner, a more natural smile. "Too complicated, anyway, for an old smuggler like me."

Yuthura clears her throat pointedly.

"I overheard Visas and the new Mandalore talk about it once," Atton continues, "when they were discussing possible plans for taking on every major force in the Republic to support your search. And here I was thinking the Mandalorians were supposed to be getting away from all that rampaging and pillaging stuff."

I smile, feeling myself relax.

Atton's eyes crinkle. "One day soon, kid, you're going to tell me how you know me so well. Preferably over a glass of-"

"Dantooine Flash Fire," I interrupt, unable to resist, "with Bao-Dur."

"...and our fine new friend here," he nods at Yuthura. "And then you can tell me about what you've learned through my bottle opener and whatever else Visas stole from my locker."

"I would like that."

Yuthura shakes her head, and we both smile. "Frack," she says, smiling and frowning at the same time like an old aunty with her two favourite miscreant nephews. Quiet tears well up in her that never quite touch her eyes. She misses that Twi'lek, the man that Brianna saw her with on Nar Shadaa.

"What happened to him," I ask before good manners can stop me.

Yuthura stiffens, turns her face away, and shields slam into place guarding her mind and feelings. "Get out of my head," she says coldly.

"Sorry," I say, and to my surprise Atton says it too.

Atton's genuinely contrite, but the expression still doesn't sit well on a face that's reflexively trying to smirk. Yuthura eyes us both, and something in her relaxes, just a little, just enough, when she notes Atton's struggles.

"His name was Gizka," she says. "He was a good man who died to make the Exchange a bit nicer than it once was. He's the reason Goto stands by you today, Toxel, and why the Exchange, when necessary, will put the Republic above profit." And then she walks away.

"That woman deserves better," Atton says quietly as we watch her disappear around a corner. I nod silently. I like this new Atton even more than the one before.

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A/N: Not the best place to end a chapter, but I want to get this out and get some momentum, so...